PEACE

Friday, October 1, 2010

fuck, my first setback in life. i thought i'd retain when i was in sec three but amazingly i promoted. now (although i'm lazy & last min) i'm struggling to promote but it's like 80% confirm i'll retain. fuck much. tsk. and what made me most disappointed isn't me retaining. but my mum is really disappointed with me. idk why, but i just cannot bare to see her upset. think i've been taking her for granted. she never ever pushed me to do work before. all she asks for is for me to pass. she don't even demand for As. damn, i'm unfilial. it's actually the very first time she literally forced me to study. she even told me "walao why score so lousy" when i told her i scored B for chinese promos. she have high expectations of me :( it's the first time she made this kind of comments!! tsk, i really dk what i can do. idw to make all those that wish for me to pass to disappoint. and there's no one i can blame. from the very first day, everyone has alr told me jc isn't an easy route. but fuck, i was so complacent i didn't wanna heed their advice. and Mr Ng has been trying very hard to knock senses into my head but i was simply too stubborn. he always told me "steffi you're not stupid you know. you're actually smart. it's your actions that's stupid." yeah, very true. i know it very well too. then he said "i really dk how to help you alr". and i replied him "it's okay. nevermind one". and he gave a me sigh. why i gave that reply was because how can he help me when even i cannot and don't want to help myself. okay enough. i just don't want to disappoint anyone!!!!! i know by the end of the day i'll definitely cry and regret.

asshole dropped the daffadil at 10:28 PM [comment]

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